you know uniteds PR team are sassy little fuckers when you get a text saying ‘renew your season ticket now and get next years champions league home games for free’
are u fucking KIDDING ME
like do u want me to cry
The English one should be chippy
Is it completely irrational to cancel our holiday to Rome because James and morrissey are playing and the dates clash?
I have seen James 4 times but never outside and never seen morrissey
Did James just announce that morrissey are also playing castlefield in summer
When I’m in Rome
My life just crumbled
I have googled “How long does heartbreak last?” The result more popular than that was “How long does heartburn last?” This implies people suffer from heartburn more than they do heartbreak, which is a good thing, because heartbreak sucks way more than acid reflux ever could. Weirdly, though, a broken heart does physically hurt. It feels heavy, like someone is sitting on your chest.
There are upsides to despair. You can wear a blanket instead of a coat and your friends won’t judge you. You can smoke indoors because nobody will have the heart to tell an inconsolable girl that a smoking ban has been in place for eight years. And you find out that people are very nice and that they care about you, even if the person you care about most doesn’t. On a positive day during an outdoor — and legal — cigarette break, I told a friend that I was fine and trotted out the line, “What doesn’t kill you make you stronger”. To which she replied, deadpan: “That’s not true, that which doesn’t kill you makes you wanna die.”
The nicest thing I heard during the worst time in my life was this: “You have to suffer heartbreak so you know what to tell your daughter when she has her heart broken.” I can’t wait for that day to come. The problem with heartbreak is that nobody can help you. Not the films you watch alone, searching for a character who feels the way you do, not the glasses or bottles of whisky you keep by your bed, and certainly not Instagram.